Meanwhile, on the Upper West Side

Today I had meetings on top of meetings. It was a LOT of subway rides across town and filling time in cafes drinking coffee and finding acceptable bathrooms after too much said coffee.

As I was biding my time near Central Park, I stopped to eat at this cafe. I walked in with a one-track mind (bathroom…. seriously this was an issue all day). TOO MUCH COFFEE). I came back to my table and realized… there are like 15 people with video equipment, wearing headsets and holding clipboards. Wait…. what is this. WAIT ARE THEIR CELEBS HERE. Ps. there wasn’t.

I sat down and ordered a coffee…. ok I’ll never learn, and one of the clipboard holders came up to me and asked me to sign a release. They were a film crew working on a TV show called “Sexy Beast” for A&E. Only in New York, y’all.

So, still questioning the premise–I was a little out of earshot, but it basically seemed like a blind dating experience? Simple enough, except they weren’t human. The lucky bachelor was… a wooden man? Like, a Pinocchio? Whatever, he must be hot in monster world because like three different dates came in during my time there, respectively: Lizard beast, mouse face beast and…. to be honest I have no clue what the last one was, but she had a swollen, blubbery face.

Anyways, tune in to A&E for Sexy Beast in a few months….. Starring me, basically.





Jack and Jimmy

Today I rolled out of bed and walked 40 blocks to wait in line for an hour for standby tickets–so basically to maybe possibly get a chance to see–the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon with guests Cameron Diaz, Josh Gad, … Continue reading

World Cup is over… so I hear

Finally, the World Cup is over! Not that it affected me at all. I literally never watched the games. I know, that’s so unpatriotic of me. EXCEPT NOT AT ALL. Let’s think about how unpatriotic the World Cup is itself… and how PATRIOTIC I am for not participating. (PS before you get angry I’m partially kidding about all this. I’ll let you decide how much is “partially.”)

  1. First of all, people call it “football” in other countries. Are you kidding me?!?! These people do not even understand what REAL football is. It’s embarrassing. Football means tackling and strategic plays–both are things NOT involved in soccer, or so I observe. Like, these people do not even know how to take a hit. And they are scrawny lil guys who look like they are dying when they get hit. Poor things.
  2. People do NOT just root for USA. Everyone has there “team” and it is literally never America. Well, because America SUCKS. But still!
  3. From what I can tell, there are no cheerleaders or halftime entertainment. So, what is the actual point of watching?
  4. It’s boring. And doesn’t make sense. It takes forever for anything good to happen. I don’t care to expand on this.
  5. From what I can tell, drinking is not as important of a factor when watching games. I repeat: what is the actual point of watching?

UGH. SO I WATCHED THE WORLD CUP FINAL. And guess what, it was boring. Mainly because I couldn’t see much without standing on a wobbly bench. Sorry, I don’t have a death wish.

After the game I went to Carmine’s (Carmine’s!!!!!!!!) with a visiting Terry friend! It was delishand a half, even if I had to venture to Times Square to go there. People tourists are the worst.

In other news…

Today was my first Monday in New York without class! I worked out, did laundry, ran errands and had a meeting with a digital person at American Media. Did I bury the lead there?

Basically, I was inspired to revamp my website!!! Here are some of the fruits of my labor this afternoon!

Now, on to the Bachelorette (watching live with Stasia via Skype!) Wine while we all ponder “Who will she choose?!?!”

HBD ‘merica

I celebrated America a LOT this weekend–in all the most American ways. I ate a hotdog I saw fireworks I went to a baseball game I drank whiskey I HAD BARBECUE But this weekend was SO SO much more! Ah! … Continue reading